We're so back

Lloyd

So what's everyone been up to for the last 21 years?

Responses:

The Dread Pirate Westley

I've been living like a king in Patagonia.

Lord Amazorn

I've made billions, got fucking jacked, and broke up with my wife who was always going on about bummer topics like "being a good person" and "helping the world instead of fucking it to pieces".

Abraham Simpson

I think I might have been dead.

The Writers

We've been out of work the whole time. We were really close to landing a job writing a humor column for The Vancouver Voice, a regional newspaper serving southwest Washington, but then it went out of business, so we had to turn to writing tracts and leaflets that we would slip under doors at Motel 8s, which didn't really pay the bills, so we also had to sell all of our houses, and then all of our cars, and then some of each-other's organs, and then most of our teeth, just to buy enough coal to make it through the winters, until the winters stopped being cold around 2019 or so, and then we lived in a cardboard box hidden in a liminal space behind a shuttered Best Buy for a few years. So yeah, doing ok.

Our Lawyers

It feels like it took 21 years just to sort out who owned this place anymore.

Their Lawyers

We can't comment on pending litigation.