The Topic: The 700 Club

My feet are to cold and numb to propell me across the room to turn off the television. How do I make the burning in my brain stop?

No, this one involves making sure everybody in every corner of the world knows and accepts Jesus. That woman didn't get cured of the effects of her brain aneurysm because of the surgery, it was JESUS. Better give us money, or those heathen babies in Africa will go to hell because they don't know about JESUS. Women, get your cute little butts back into the kitchen because it's what JESUS wants. No, this tie isn't tacky, JESUS helped me pick it out.
Fuckers.