Cool Mint Conversatron - People you know

Speenoser

What is the best way to handle seeing someone you know but don't have time to say more than "hello" to walking in the opposite direction in a corridor, shopping mall or whatever? Is it right to just pretend you haven't noticed them until the last moment, even though you have made eye contact or are you supposed to do something in the intervening time? And what if they say "how are you doing?" Its so complicated!

The Ghost of Douglas Adams

Well, it's a very well known phenomenon, and frankly, there's not much to do about it.

I can at least give terminology to it, however, from my book The Meaning of Liff.

The Ghost of Douglas Adams

CORRIEARKLET (n.)

The moment at which two people approaching from opposite
ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and
immediately pretend they haven't. This is to avoid the
ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing
each other the whole length of the corridor.

CORRIECRAVIE (n.)

To avert the horrors of corrievorrie (q.v.) corriecravie
is usually employed. This is the cowardly but highly
skilled process by which both protagonists continue to
approach while keeping up the pretence that they haven't
noticed each other - by staring furiously at their feet,
grimacing into a notebook, or studying the walls closely as
if in a mood of deep irritation.

CORRIEDOO (n.)

The crucial moment of false recognition in a long
passageway encouter. Though both people are perfectly well
aware that the other is approaching, they must eventually
pretend sudden recognition. They now look up with a glassy
smile, as if having spotted each other for the first time,
(and are particulary delighted to have done so) shouting
out 'Haaaaaallllloooo!' as if to say 'Good grief!! You!!
Here!! Of all people! Will I never. Coo. Strap me vitals,
etc.'

CORRIEMOILLIE (n.)

The dreadful sinking sensation in a long passageway
encounter when both protagonists immediately realise they
have plumped for the corriedoo (q.v.) much too early as
they are still a good thirty yards apart. They were
embarrased by the pretence of corriecravie (q.v.) and
decided to make use of the corriedoo because they felt
silly. This was a mistake as corrievorrie (q.v.) will make
them seem far sillier.

CORRIEVORRIE (n.)

Corridor etiquette demans that once a corriedoo (q.v.) has
been declared, corrievorrie must be employed. Both
protagonists must now embellish their approach with an
embarrassing combination of waving, grinning, making idiot
faces, doing pirate impressions, and waggling the head from
side to side while holding the other person's eyes as the
smile drips off their face, until with great relief, they
pass each other.

CORRIEMUCHLOCH (n.)

Word describing the kind of person who can make a complete
mess of a simple job like walking down a corridor.

The Ghost of Douglas Adams
It seems that death would be the only release, but in fact the afterlife is full of narrow corridors and people you haven't seen in ages and really don't want to talk to.

The Ghost of Douglas Adams

It seems that death would be the only release, but in fact the afterlife is full of narrow corridors and people you haven't seen in ages and really don't want to talk to.