Dear Mr T., Professor Frink, and (begrudgingly) Pitymatic 4000,
Pity me, for I am shocked saddened to think that the cold, ruthlessly efficient pity generated by a machine could ever equal the righteous, slightly menacing brand of pity so lovingly dispensed by our dear Mr. Tureaud. Professor Frink, I implore you to cease this madness you call progress, and accept the truth that the quality of a man's pity can never be matched by silicon and chips, or whatever such folderol you've fabricated this foolish synthetic pity machine of.
Kindest Regards,
Glyph
Pity me, for I am shocked saddened to think that the cold, ruthlessly efficient pity generated by a machine could ever equal the righteous, slightly menacing brand of pity so lovingly dispensed by our dear Mr. Tureaud. Professor Frink, I implore you to cease this madness you call progress, and accept the truth that the quality of a man's pity can never be matched by silicon and chips, or whatever such folderol you've fabricated this foolish synthetic pity machine of.
Kindest Regards,
Glyph