Why do Christians seem to think they have been assigned the duty to violate the US Constitution? To them, freedom of religion and beliefs is apparently a _BAD_ thing, and we should all be mindless Jesus drones bent on sweeping the earth clean of reality. Who else hates fundamentalist dogma here?
Responses:
Jay
Watch out about your saying about Dogma and shit, man. Bob and me worked our tight little asses off keeping this universe safe from Holy Fuckin' Annihilation. Ain't that right, Bob?
Silent Bob
Jay
Fuck yeah.
Not the Ghost of Carl Sagan, since the existence of 'ghosts' cannot be proven scientifically.
I fear that you gentlemen are somehow avoiding the question. It's no mere happenstance that Pythagoras was killed when he refused to go through a field of bean plants while being pursued.
Jay
Forget that Triangle Man, Carl. He was fuckin' messed up in the head and shit.
Skully, the TMBG skull
Did somebody say Triangle Man?
Skully, the TMBG skull
Triangle Man hates Particle Man.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Who? Albert Einstein?
Not the Ghost of Carl Sagan, since the existence of 'ghosts' cannot be proven scientifically.
No, Dr. Honeydew. I think Einstein was more of a Particle/Wave Duality Man. (snicker)
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew
Oh, yes! That was very funny Carl!
Skully, the TMBG skull
Particle/Wave Duality Man? I need to make a phone call.
Hello Kitty
I think we're evading the most important thing of all. Jesus loves each and every one of us, and wants us to do his will. If you don't agree with Jesus, I'm going to have to kill you like the filhty pig you are and send you up into his warm, loving graces.
The Coke Santa
But if someone disagreed with the Christian philosophy, why would they be accepted to the Christian heaven? Wouldn't a disbeliever to go Christian Hell?
Hello Kitty
Of course!
The Coke Santa
But you just said you'd kill someone and send them into God's graces.
Hello Kitty
That's not what I meant.
The Coke Santa
What did you mean?
Hello Kitty
I, uh, I meant that anyone who would--
The Coke Santa
Moreover, is killing wrong?
Hello Kitty
Of course!
The Coke Santa
Do murderers go to Hell?
Hello Kitty
Absolutely.
The Coke Santa
So if you killed this person, as you originally suggested, would you not then go to Hell?
Hello Kitty
But God loves me. And I love God.
The Coke Santa
Don't avoid the question. If you killed a person, would you go to Hell?
Hello Kitty
God forgives the sins of others.
The Coke Santa
Only if they repent. Would you repent the killing of a heathen?
Hello Kitty
No.
The Coke Santa
Then you would go to Hell for not repenting your willful taking of another life.
Hello Kitty
But....
The Coke Santa
Sounds to me like you'd better hope that the Christian God doesn't exist.
Jay
Aw yeah! Go Big Red! Tell that fuckin' cat off!
The Coke Santa
Thanks, Jay. The Easter Bunny asked me to say a few words to you....
Jay
Fuck, man! Bob and I got set up! Testify, Bob!
Silent Bob
Jay
Don't clam up on me, you fat bitch! Tell the man what happened.
The Coke Santa
I see you when you're sleeping, Jay. I know when you're awake. And I know when you lay the smack on a shopping mall Easter Bunny for no reason.
Jay
I'm sorry, Santa. Is there any way I can make it up to you?
The Coke Santa
Of course, Jay. Let's go back to my place and spark a bowl.
Jay
Yeah man, yeah! Santa Fuckin' Claus in the house! I'm gonna go off with a fat jolly old elf and burn some bud! Santa will come along, too. Heh heh heh! Just kidding, Bob.
Sister Miriam Godwinson
This thread has become Godless and wretched. I suggest you all abandon it to pursue computer strategy games.
Colonel Corazon Santiago
You would say that, you petty little weakling. If you spent less time excommunicating everything and maybe let people think for themselves, you'd learn that the labors of the body will accomplish more in a day than kneeling and praying ever would. It's not about having faith in a god. It's about having faith in yourself.
