Hi, Bacon. We need to talk.
We were pretty good friends when we were kids, even though my mom didn't like me eating you. But as I got older, we drifted apart. I got more health-conscious, and you didn't.
But I've thought about you from time to time. I'd occasionally have you on chicken sandwich, or fill my life with substitutes such as imitation bacon made from turkey or soy.
Recently I came across a package of you in my freezer, left behind from some previous tenant at this house. I figured I should give you another try, since I'd be moving out of here soon and I didn't like the thought of simply throwing you away.
I fried a few pieces of you up, but I just couldn't bring myself to eat you alone. It was just like before... you're great as long as you're with friends, like on the Western Chicken sandwich at Carl's Jr., but when it's just you and me...
I'm sorry. This must be hard for you, but we need to see other mammals or meat products thereof. You and I just weren't meant to be.
I hope we can still be friends.
We were pretty good friends when we were kids, even though my mom didn't like me eating you. But as I got older, we drifted apart. I got more health-conscious, and you didn't.
But I've thought about you from time to time. I'd occasionally have you on chicken sandwich, or fill my life with substitutes such as imitation bacon made from turkey or soy.
Recently I came across a package of you in my freezer, left behind from some previous tenant at this house. I figured I should give you another try, since I'd be moving out of here soon and I didn't like the thought of simply throwing you away.
I fried a few pieces of you up, but I just couldn't bring myself to eat you alone. It was just like before... you're great as long as you're with friends, like on the Western Chicken sandwich at Carl's Jr., but when it's just you and me...
I'm sorry. This must be hard for you, but we need to see other mammals or meat products thereof. You and I just weren't meant to be.
I hope we can still be friends.
