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My dog won't stop barking!

The Asker
My dog barks continually and I can't get her to stop. Exercise doesn't work, throwing cans filled with pennies near her doesn't work, loud noises don't work, more toys doesn't help her any, she doesn't want them. She only wants to bark! I don't want to cut her vocal cords or anything like that (although sometimes in the middle of the night, the thought crosses my mind). Aside from jumping off rooftops at her, ninja style, in order to cause her too much confusion to continue barking.. What can i do?


Christopher Walken
Here's what you do.

Christopher Walken
You go back in time, back to when the first Spaniards were settling in the New World. Convince them to not bring any dogs with them.

Christopher Walken
Then all you have to do is, once you've travelled back to this day and age, purchase one of the famed North American non-barking dogs. Because, you see, New World dogs didn't bark until Old World dogs taught them how.

Christopher Walken
I hope this helps you as much as it has helped me.

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