The Topic:
Ms. Scully

The Question:

Good evening, Ms. Scully.

I trust you are well. I thought it might be a good idea to write to you, as I've been having a bit of a problem for the past two days. Ever since I wrote a message apologising to those who were bored by my formality, your partner has been investigating me. If he had simply asked a few questions and left, I wouldn't be nearly as disturbed as I am. However, he is apparently not content to ask his questions and leave - instead, he has been following me around to all my classes and attempting to interrogate my professors.

Needless to say, this is both very disruptive to the necessary classroom environment and very embarassing for me. Therefore, I must ask a favor of you. Will you please tell your partner that I have no connection with an alien conspiracy, the illuminati, the communist party, or any combination thereof. Also, kindly inform him that I have not, in fact, seen the child he keeps raving about. I have tried to do this many times, but he remains convinced that I'm trying to decieve him. Hopefully he'll take it more seriously if he hears it from his partner.

Oh, and just out of curiosity, how did you get stuck with two partners like... that... in a row? The odds have to be astronomically low...

Thank you, and have a pleasant evening.

Eric "TSI"
"...With the speed of insanity, then he dies..." ~Phil Ochs (1940-1976)

 Special Agent Dana Scully

Is this true?

Special Agent John Doggett  

Of course not. He's making it all up.

There's no way he could have recognized me. I'm liquid metal.

 Special Agent Dana Scully

 Special Agent Dana Scully

We're going to have to have "that talk" again, aren't we?

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