The Topic: Really Quiet, eh?

 godofchuck (11:46 AM)
If it's so quiet, I propose that the Askees create a serial story, by which I mean one Askee starts a story and others continue, creating a huge waste of time.


 Atreyu (11:57 AM)
In the beginning, there was a young boy name Arofin, who lived all alone in the Maldian Mountains, with only his gray horse Pooka to keep him company. His life wasn't difficult, as plenty of game roamed the area, and the land was rich and yielded many crops. But he came to be dissatisifed, as he had no recollection of how he had come to be here all by himself. So one day...

Dirty Old Man (11:57 AM) 
I'll keep the young man company. Don't be lonely little Arofin, daddy's here.

Brisco County Jr. (11:57 AM) 
I'm only going to give you one warning, you creep. GET THE HELL OUT.

 Q*bert (11:57 AM)
... So one day he decided to leave his mountain home and discover the world. But in order to do that, he had to hop from one ledge to the next, down the side of the mountain, avoiding big, coiled snakes and other hazards.

 Atreyu (11:57 AM)
With his horse, of course.

 Q*bert (12:07 PM)
Hey, this is my part, babyface.

 Atreyu (12:07 PM)

 Q*bert (12:07 PM)
Fine, ok, with his horse Pooka. So he and his horse slowly hopped down the side of the mountain. There was a close shave, when an indistinct blobby menace nearly jumped on them, but just then a beautiful orange creature with a long nose jumped in and pushed them to safetly, just in time!

 Captain Zapp Brannigan (12:07 PM)
I'll take it from here. Once down from the mountain, the lad found himself in the middle of a busy spaceport.
"Let's sign up in the StarForce Armada!" said his trusty talking horse Pooka.
"Agreed", said Arofin. The went directly to the recruitement center, where they underwent an extensive gene testing to find out if they were predisposed to any genetic disorders such bad hair, or talking back to their commanding officer. They also underwent the standard background check, but the check turned up no background at all, for either of them. The mystery deepens.

 Old, Tired Kirk (12:07 PM)
"Congratulations", the recruitement officer said. "You're both now Starfleet cadets."

 Captain Zapp Brannigan (12:07 PM)

 Old, Tired Kirk (12:15 PM)
Whatever. The point is, Arofin and Pooka quickly went though cadet training, and Pooka had the distinction of being the first equine to graduate top of his class.

 Atreyu (12:15 PM)
Her class. Pooka's a she.

 Old, Tired Kirk (12:15 PM)
Whatever. After graduation, the two were quickly given fleet assignments. They were to be ensigns on the USS Reliant. They took a shuttlecraft to the gracefully shaped orbiting starship, and the ship quickly departed for the uncharted reaches of deep space.

 Willow Rosenberg (12:15 PM)
But something went terribly wrong with the warp induced phase thing timer, and the ship crashed back on the planet. But everyone was ok, and it didn't land on anyone, so it's ok. Arofin and Pooka climbed out of the wreckage and looked around at the lush fields and clear skies. Arofin sighed.
"That was an interesting experience" he said, "but I think if I'm going to discover my past, I should stay here with my feet on the ground." Pooka whinnied her agreement, because she wasn't really a talking horse, and it was all just a big fluke that she graduated from space school.

Old, Tired Kirk (12:15 PM) 
Ha! So funny!

 Willow Ufgood (12:20 PM)
While surveying the near-magical landscape, Arofin heard a noise behind him. He turned to see an old crone limping towards him. She pulled back her hood, revealing a shriveled, wisened old face, but with penetrating eyes that spoke of deep inner strength and knowledge. She opened her toothless mouth and said:

 Willow Ufgood (12:20 PM)
"Ho there, byatch!! NIPPLE NIPPLE NIPPLE!

Lester Knight Chaykin (12:20 PM) 
We must find a way to keep him quiet until he's feeling better.

 M. Bison (12:29 PM)
The old crone then said, "You must join the Avenue Fighter tournament, and fight your way to the top." With a cackle, the old crone added, "But beware! It will be a long and arduous fight, and at the end you must face W. Buffalo."

 M. Bison (12:29 PM)
Then, without warning, the old crone disappeared. Arofin turned to Pooka and said "I'm sorry, but you must stay here. The Avenue Fighter tournament is no place for a horse."

Atreyu (12:29 PM) 
No, the horse stays with him!

 M. Bison (12:29 PM)
Look kid, who's turn at telling this story is it? Mine or yours?

Atreyu (12:29 PM) 

 M. Bison (12:32 PM)
Look, that weepy face isn't working on me kid.

 M. Bison (12:32 PM)
So Arofin left the beautiful land and joined the Avenue Fighter . . .

 Q*bert (12:32 PM)
Isn't it Street Fighter?

 M. Bison (12:32 PM)
No, look we're telling a fictional story. Any similarities to real events is purely imagined.

 M. Bison (12:32 PM)
Someone else's turn, I'm tired of all this interruption.

 Atari Corporation (12:35 PM)
Ok, let's see...

 Atari Corporation (12:36 PM)
The first event of this "Avenue Fighter" competition involved each contestant controlling a large luminous paddle, and striking a cube back and forth across a large playfield. It was great fun.

 Atari Corporation (12:37 PM)
And after practicing, it was time for the first meet. And who was our hero matched up with, but his old horse friend, Pooka, who had dressed up as a woman to sneak into the competition.

 Atari Corporation (12:37 PM)
Buy PONG available now in a store near you

 The Referee (12:38 PM)

Shameless commercialism. Play continues with next Askee.

Abraham Simpson (12:44 PM) 
Arofin was wearing his hair with a doughnut in it, as it was the style at the time.

Abraham Simpson (12:48 PM) 
Arofin realized that the only way of reaching the Kaiser and ending the war was to sneak into enemy territory. He took the dress from Pooka and clothed himself in the manner of a German lass. Arofin made his way along the road to the Kaiser's palace. He was only dickety-three miles away when . . .

 Atreyu (12:54 PM)
He realized that it was all a dream and none of this silly business had ever happened.

 Atreyu (12:54 PM)
All I wanted to hear was a simple story about a boy and his horse.

 Atreyu (12:54 PM)

 Crow T. Robot (12:58 PM)
It was all a dream? That's the lamest ending since "Dallas".

Tom Servo (1:00 PM) 
Or "Sixth Sense".

 Crow T. Robot (1:05 PM)
Tom! Some people may not have seen that yet!

Tom Servo (1:05 PM) 
Some people may not have seen that episode of "Dallas".

 Crow T. Robot (1:06 PM)

 Narrator (1:06 PM)
Well for those of you who haven't seen it, it turns out that the kid is just a schizoid figment of Bruce's imagination.

 Atreyu (1:21 PM)
First you all ruin my story, then you ruin the movie...Why do you all have be like that? Don't you realize you're just inviting the Nothing to come back and destroy you?

 Crow T. Robot (1:28 PM)


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